I just kind of miss having an assignment.

4:51- December 28th 2010

I often wish I had something exciting to announce to people. But, rarely is there anything of note happening. If I were more bold I would be such a liar.

2/20-3/8

2/20: I like watching the different seasons, but sometimes they feel like they last too long.
2/21: I have been overwhelmed so much lately that it is starting to feel normal and feeling just 'whelmed is kind of a let down. I like things to remain to big.
2/23: I am a sensitive and pretty grace filled person most of the time, but when it comes to adults blaming their parents my empathy runs out and I just want people to take some responsibility.
2/24: Having a baby wouldn't be the end of the world. But I cannot go with the whole Rufus thing...nope
2/26: I am becoming a biker, I fear this will be like the time I became a runner. It got hard and cold, so I stopped.
2/28: I don't think I actually form habbits like a normal person.
3/1: Not having cable isn't as terrible as I thought it would be. We talk more and look at eachother more, its nice. We recently learned that the average mairred couple talks to eachother for just 12 minutes a day. This is terrifying. How is it possible? If we become like that, I will do something crazy to stop it. Something bizzare and crazy, belive you me.
3/2: "I know that she's a liar, when I look into her eyes. But I belive in every word she says. She's out to start a fire burning everything I have. I can't put it out, it's all inside my head. But then you sing, then you sing."
3/3: Baking is theaputic, till I eat it all.
3/4: Some people can just give her the look and she follows the wordless instructions; I do not have the look.
3/5: Sitting on his lap is more comfortable than sitting next to loud eating noises. I will always choose the lap over the smack.
3/6: When I notice men looking when were at bars, I kiss extra hard just to ruin it. I love the look right after that kiss.
3/7: Eye contact is hard. I can only look at her when we joke, otherwise I am scared she will see right through me and say things I don't want to hear. It sounds louder when I look at her.
3/8: My mom told me she felt like she put those playmobile people away just yesterday, but it was nearly 15 years ago. Looking at my toys gave both of us funny feelings.

2/12-2/20

2/12: I have watched too much reality TV. I stare at people and watch them; they notice me because they aren't on television.
2/13: Nights in are almost always better than nights out. Comfort food and coziness should never be underestimated.
2/14: I was surprised for the first time on Valentines day. No flowers. But so imperfectly right. I love this, I love that we get to have first anniversaries and first valentines day all over again.
2/15: I don't understand it when people say that they are worried about becoming more like their mothers. I really hope to become half as sweet/ dedicated/ internal and externally beautiful as my mom.
2/16: I have always underestimated the value of community. The women I am with on Monday nights are changing my life so profoundly. Age has never meant so little. They are so inspiring, I have never met such transparent and vulnerable people, they are teaching me so much more than I ever could have imagined. I cannot believe that such a painful process is something that I look forward to. This makes me feel truly joyful and truly broken hearted. I think the concept of refiners fire is starting to hit.
2/17: The view in my office is unchanging, other than the various sugary treats that sit to my left.
2/18: I know no less than 6 pregnant women.
2/20: Working in an office is making me want to be done with school and get on with life and never sit so much ever again.

2/11/09

I always thought Wisdom teeth were kind of a myth....now I am thinking I was wrong. I hate them. I think I need some serious drugs to withstand this kind of pain....ugh

2/10/09

Stage fright is not something I have ever really had to deal with. In high school singing solos would sometimes make me a little nervous right before, but as soon as I started it would all dissipate and get easy. Slam poetry is just a very different story. I start shaking when I think about it. With roughly 24 hours before our first scored slam I am all ready feeling like I could puke and am shaking. I have only practiced in front of my television, and let me tell you a muted Paula Deen makes for a mighty kind audience (she is so smiley!). I am pretty convinced that all of the people that walked past my apartment think I am a raving crazy lady also...oops. Anyway. OBSERVATION: Stage fright is the worst. Ever.

Observation: DAD

My dad is really above and beyond. He is the one who gave me a love for words, a love that actually pushed me into school and legitimately working on something I care about instead of just doing enough. My Dad is loving and caring and not only a great Dad but also the best Sibling, Child, Grandpa and Husband out there. I am going to give one ....two observations about things I really love about my Dad.

1. He read to me. And still will. He read me stories before I went to bed and this wouldn't be a big deal, except that this went on until I moved out for college. We made it through multiple classics, some not so classic and the Super Fudge book more times than anyone should....not really it is such a great book!

2. He isn't a man for talking so much. But he writes love letters. Love poems and generally wonderful things. Getting mail freshman year just from my Dad and to me, was so special and wonderful. Nothing can compare to a love poem to a daughter from a wonderful father, and my Dad wrote/writes these for me more often than any one could ever ask for or expect.

Thank you for being you. Thank you for being my Dad and thank you for giving me my passion for words, not that I really proved that in this post but I promise I am becoming a better writer!
Now, here are way to many pictures...its wonderful. Happy Birthday Dad!

02/05-07

2/5: Without the close relationships I have made these last couple of years I wouldn't be nearly as brave as I am today. I am so thankful for making friends who care about me and who push me to be braver than I was the day before. Thanks belles.
2/6: The computer at my work sits much to close to my face. Sometimes I worry I won't ever see in more than 2 dimensions; I spend to much time in this place. And WWU pays me allot considering all of the budget issues.
2/7: I am suspicious of my brothers television recommendations. Also, I am coming to terms with my family being strange and different and I think I actually really like how different and odd we all are. I wouldn't go so far as saying we are all puzzle pieces or anything like that. But, I think that we are great challenges for each other and I like that. Also, I am glad I am a chameleon. Also, kids are the best bumper/peace makers/fun inducers that have ever been. Seriously. I love my family.